A LETTER TO A FRIEND FACING THE END
For more great blogs as this one go to Daniel’s blog site at:
Although you think that your experience of terror and self-contempt was totally unusual, I think that it is a common one, although not perhaps with the sudden intensity of your experience.
Let me just use myself as an example. I had experienced decades of quite severe depression, capped off by panic attacks. Looking back on them from my present perspective, I now understand that self-contempt and shame had been at the core (not to deny certain factors of my upbringing that I think intensified these feelings).
Self-contempt was life-controlling. I never felt secure enough to feel comfortable with anyone else. Consequently, I became a loner, misanthrope, and desperately, but vainly, tried to change myself into someone else – someone I thought who could be loved. In my distorted thinking, this meant that I had to be the best at everything. However, this turned into a burden that I could not bear.
I think that my experience was on the extreme end, but, to some degree, I think that almost all humanity struggles with this. We even see it in Genesis 3. After Adam and Eve sinned, they were no longer comfortable in their own skin or with their Maker. They ran from Him, who they now experienced as their enemy, someone who would uncover their sin. They then tried to ludicrously cover their shame with fig leaves. When God found them, they resorted to half-truths, denial, and blame-shifting – anything to escape His scrutiny and their underlying non-okay-ness, but never confessing their sin.
I think that we are still escaping and covering ourselves with different kinds of fig leaves – money, recognition, accomplishments, and power – anything that will cover the real problem - alienation from ourselves and from God. Why? At the core, we know that there is something terribly wrong.
Perhaps, you had experienced this very human problem so suddenly because your defenses had been impervious and had suddenly been punctured. But as Jesus taught, this is the ubiquitous problem of humanity:
∑ And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed. (John 3:19-20)
I still have problems, but self-loathing is no longer one of them. Why not? I no longer (by the grace of Christ) resist the truth about myself – that I am a sinner who desperately needs the Savior. I therefore confess my sins and have found forgiveness and cleansing. Consequently, I am now confident about my future after death.
You may think that you cannot believe as I have. However, this is a lie of the powers of darkness. Instead, our Lord has promised:
You may think that you cannot believe as I have. However, this is a lie of the powers of darkness. Instead, our Lord has promised:
∑ Romans 10:12-13 For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord of all, bestowing his riches on all who call on him. For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
He has already paid the price on the Cross for you, dear friend, and He wants to capitalize on His investment by receiving you. Please do not resist Him who said:
∑ Revelation 3:20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
Let’s talk!
New York School of the Bible: http://www.nysb.nyc/
No comments:
Post a Comment